Why do you play a game?
You want to enjoy fun and excitement. Maybe you want to push your boundaries of what you are capable of accomplishing. Here is the funny twist to your game. It is just an illusion you play on yourself to experience something.
So why do we need to experience this?
Because the only way we know we are alive is to create feelings, feelings come from experience. Time is a big factor of how we process those experiences. When we find ourselves lost in a place of wonder, we are typically wondering all the if’s and else’s. When we go through the entire process. We come up with our own reality of what happened. Then we take this wonderful thing called time and wrap it into a box and try to understand it. In the meantime time has passed by and there’s a new moment to process. But hey wait, what happened to that moment I was thinking about that happened an hour ago.
Well it is still there, you can still think about it and experience it if you wish, or you can experience a new one. A thus a loop starts where if you can imagine a thousand hula hoops wrapping around our brains.
Ok that is too much for me, how can I process all of this?
You can’t, you have to let go and just look towards the next sunrise. Because if you dwell on the past you will never embrace the future.
The Confusion
Why did you get lost?
It is really easy to get to a place and forget how you got there. Whether it’s a walk, or life decisions. We are humans trying to understand a place that is foreign to us. A place where we have to walk, talk and work. It becomes a role we must consume in order to survive. Before in the days of hunter gathering, we knew what we had to do. Make love, eat and sleep. This was survival of the fittest.
So Why do we hurt ourselves?
Well it’s a simple answer to this one, we enjoy pain just as much as we enjoy pleasure. We thrive on this ability to find places to escape too. It is the place that makes us feel comfortable and also a bit out of control. Now we also hurt ourselves in other ways. Such as we self sabotage relationships and we do it purposely. But there are other situations where we do it unintentionally. We never will stop hurting ourselves or the people around us because if we backtrack to “why do we need to experience something” , well that is your answer.
What do we want?
We want to be loved, it’s been ingrained in our human spirit. Whether it is a sexual procreation symptom or a way for us to feel respected. We need it as free thinking beings. But what is this love? Can anyone really love anyone else besides themselves?
Probably not, You love yourself as a defensive mechanism, thus you become the lover of yourself. Loving someone else is a way to expand your own emotional spirit. You find a way to connect with others so you can find a piece of yourself somewhere else, probably so you don’t feel so alone. This is what I call, the forever paradox. This paradox is just one way for us to become distracted by something that will fulfill who we are.
Why do you need anyone besides you?
If you do not experience others, how can you truly know yourself? Think about that for a bit….
You can be you, I can be me, but if you don’t know me, you can know what it might like to be you. The reflection of others has a substation hold on our personalities. We are drawn to it and yet we require it to evolve.
What happens when we lose people?
Our life becomes a spiral of inconsistency. We find ourselves longing for something we can’t have. Whether it is a family member or a friend. We become crippled by a feeling that can’t be fixed by anything near us. Say we lose a dog or friend to death. Can it be replaced? Would you want it replaced?
We always want to believe things last forever, when we do that we are trying to hold onto a past that still exists just not one we are allowed to experience right now. Yet we can experience it now by simply remembering a memory. Here is the beautiful part of losing something, You get to find something. Just as you walk down a path and see a rock, you find another rock and then you find a tree.
The thing we are so far from in our memory is still with us, but we can make new memories that can be inspired by the ones that have already happened. Humans are inspiration and are meant to inspire each other to survive.
I want things
We do what we want to do, and we want to have all these things. But what do these things mean to us when we have them? Are they things we appreciate or are they things we use. Collectors tend to find things to look at but never really touch. Others want achievements that make them feel a sense of accomplishment.
What is a thing?
It is something we grasp onto and define so that we can keep it. It becomes something we have control over. Once we label something to be a thing, we have to find a way to understand what that thing means to us. This can be an emotion, a moment, a person or numerous other things. This is significant as we need things to feel good about ourselves. Whether it is a good night out on the town, or enjoyable moments at home with friends. Maybe it is something we obsess about so that it distracts us from what is important.
I need to feel
Sometimes we feel like we need a huge, other times we need to feel a strength or force that can only be done by a passionate or loving response. When we need to find a feeling that satisfies our needs, we tend to quickly forget about the things we need to get done. We get absorbed into a world of feeling a touch or a connection. But then there are all these obligations we have to survive in society. It could be doing your laundry, but why would you want to do that if you could cuddle next to someone and feel loved?
It is important to find a balance between the pleasures and the mundane tasks that drive us mad each week. Where does this go wrong?
Well we make decisions based on the build up of tasks to the desire of feeling needed. When the desire of feeling needed is not met in an equal way to the tasks. It is my perception that we tend to bounce off the walls. When we bounce we go directions we wouldn’t expect to arrive.
If you throw a bowling ball down the street, could you predict where it would end up?
In the end we all want to end up somewhere down that road, but we are hoping that something bounces along with us. Even if it is for a short while and eventually the destination ends up on the other side of the road.
Had a better day
Today has been pretty good, for a good plus month now. It is nice to have a streak where we have good times. The bad times can be just a shadow creeping around the corner. These good times are like a subtle shore with calm waves. Once in a while the wind picks up and the waves start hitting the beach like it’s trying to swallow it. How do you handle an abrupt change in the pattern of your daily routine?
You cannot, you have to ride this thing out and just figure out where you might land on the beach. The waves of life are like vibrations. We tend to vibrate at a frequency that is calming to us when we are happy, then when we are erratic we find ways to disturb our normal patterns. These can cause chaos not just in our own lives, but everyone around us. Can we protect ourselves from these cycles of life that strike when we least expect it?
Probably not because as much as you would like to believe you make your own choices. There are certain things that happen that are out of your control. The only way to deal with these unexpected events is to ride it out. Find a way to float along with the troubles or the excitement that may come into your life. Protect others from your waves as much as they try to protect you from theirs. We all will fluctuate from happy too sad, it’s normal. All we can hope for is that we hang out with some surfer people on the same wavelength long enough to experience a good time.
